Venky’s have not been seen at Blackburn Rovers games for ages. Rumours in India say the family is suffering from some kind of bizarre disease, possibly a side-effect following DNA research into poultry production.
The Incredible Feathered Venky
As one of the world’s leading avian research institutions, based in India, Venky’s have always boasted of having technology to even create new species of life. One unusual challenge they recently received was to bring the extinct Dodo back to life. They say it could be possible using 3D bio-printing.
Venky’s claim this kind of technology was right up their street. They believe they could also solve the age old riddle of which came first: the chicken or the egg? They say they could manage to create an egg before a Dodo in this case. After all, they are a hatchery and their matriarch – Mrs Desai – is known as ‘Madam’, which means Mother Hen in some Indian dialects. Her brother Balaji is even more fearsome and is known to rule their company with a rod of iron. No doubt they can see opportunities for feathering their nests, should these experiments succeed.
Unfortunately for the Venky’s, theory and practice do not always go like a bird in the hand and their chickens may have come home to roost on this occasion. The Rao family have spent all their life amongst chickens and this may have made them more susceptible than most people to airborne avian infections. Reports of the Venky’s having facial disfigurements resembling a coating of feathers have been mentioned by sources in India.
There is also a theory Venky’s’ buying Blackburn Rovers may have triggered some kind of ironic scourge upon the Rao family. In 1965 Blackburn was hit by a polio epidemic. This led to other football clubs refusing to play Rovers and they started their season later than everybody else. Their backlog of matches didn’t help and led to them being relegated at the end of the 1965-66 Season. Perhaps some kind of throwback to those troubled times has come back to haunt Venky’s. It may become known as the Rovers’ Revenge.
While Venky’s own us, there is more chance of them bringing the Dodo back to life than Blackburn Rovers. At least we can look forward to a day when Venky’s ownership of our club, like the life of the Dodo, will also become extinct and consigned to the history books. Nobody will ever want to see their disastrous stewardship of Blackburn Rovers occur again. They have taken us to the brink of extinction. But 3D bio-printing won’t be necessary and like the fabled phoenix, Rovers will one day rise again.