Blackburn’s Postal Order pub is turning its top floors into hotel rooms. This sounds like a really good move. Here are some of the characters who might be staying there when it opens.
Builders:
There always seems to be building work going on in Blackburn town centre. These are the people who will really appreciate stopping in the Posty. They will be there until last orders and first up next morning for their breakfast. They are amongst the best behaved guests too. It will be strictly tea or coffee for them, to wash down their gigantic breckies.
Sales Reps:
These are the kind of guests every hotel wants. Flash cars, sharp suits and expense accounts. They have deep pockets and are looking for deep cleavage. The bar staff will have really good stories to tell about some of these characters.
Football Fans:
With Rovers back in the Championship, lots of football fans will be checking into the Posty before, during and after match days. This means boozing until last orders in this place and then maybe out for a few more elsewhere. Liquid breckies could be the order of the day next morning. Let’s hope the only tops which are asked to be removed are from the bottles.
The Lovers:
Many blind dates and extra-curricular liaisons already take place in the Posty. And with it having brand new bedrooms, nature is bound to take its course. And like this building’s previous use, so it did for Fred and Doris. She definitely found something in his sack and a late rising followed. It wasn’t a cup of coffee for these two next morning. They had something to celebrate – with British sparkling wine of course.
Left Handed People:
A pioneering experiment to help left-handed people become part of mainstream society is to be tried out in the Postal Order. Wetherspoons want to reassure customers there is nothing sinister going on and intend to keep things even handed. Punters may notice new left-handed coin slots on the gaming machines and two handles on the barrel glasses. Apart from this, everything should be all right.
Rock Bands:
No doubt the Posty management will have been warned about taking in rock bands as guests. If a television suddenly comes crashing down on Darwen Street, you’ll know they haven’t done their homework. Those days seem to have long gone, when chemically debauched rock stars like Keith Moon and Keith Richards used to trash their hotel rooms. Nowadays we have clean living manufactured groups who are tucked up in bed for 10.00pm.
Turning the top floors of the Postal Order into a hotel sounds like a really good idea. What could be better for business than a captive audience? This new hotel should give us something to celebrate in Blackburn – as long as it’s not with Champagne!