PFA Officials have lambasted Blackburn Rovers’ latest public relations initiative. Following recent successful family open days, the club wants to hold a ‘Bring your pets to Ewood Park’ day.

Ground staff have expressed concern over treading in dog faeces on the playing surface. Cats sharpening their claws on the goalposts is also a worry.

One player owns a crocodile and insists on equal opportunities. This may result in certain parts of the ground being off-limit to some categories of animals.

Tortoises may be allowed in the ground, but they must leave their shells on the car parks. This is to stop players thinking they are being asked to put more effort into their training.

A PFA health & safety rep said he was worried about players and staff catching diseases. Animals could gain access to treatment and rest rooms. Fish could get into the players baths. There could also be cases of theft, with dogs snaffling pies and sandwiches and hamsters invading the chocolate machines.

Concerns were also expressed about chemicals killing vulnerable animals. Emissions from the office printers and photocopiers may disable canaries or other creatures with a sensitive sense of smell. The pitch fertiliser could also poison sheep or goats which were let loose by their owners. A special insurance policy would need setting up for subsequent actions resulting from rabbits escaping from their owners.

Rovers say they want to create a happy environment for players, staff and supporters. Bringing plants into Ewood Park has proved therapeutic for some players. Now they want to take it a step further by bringing in animals. Not everybody agrees. An unnamed source said: “This is supposed to be a football club – Not Noah’s Ark!”